Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
