i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
