Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
