I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
