smell my finger.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
