Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
