I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
