You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
