You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my poor anus
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
