never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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