I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My dick has a subreddit
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
