I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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