I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
