I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
