...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
