I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
