I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
