i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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