through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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