come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
