Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
