dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
