"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
