it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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