Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Barsexuality is the new black.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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