perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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