seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
