I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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