Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
