She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
