ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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