i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
