just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
God, I missed his penis.
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