I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Your cock deserves a montage
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
