Cold hands, warm shart.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
