Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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