Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
