My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
