barbara walters just said penis...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
