he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
