Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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