in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
