worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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