It was confusing and full of hummus
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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