It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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