My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
