there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
