are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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