if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
