Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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