I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
