Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
