If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
