420 ftw
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
